kokoro
by treacher
Summary: Two killers, two souls, two hearts. Around them, the world spins madly.


_Treacher here ^^ I'm currently on a month-long holiday so I got bored and decided to look around my laptop when I found this story. It has been there since... last June or so and it only has thirteen to sixteen paragraphs. I kind of continued it and finished it yesterday. It took me three days to write and a day to proofread it, haha. This is the longest one-shot I've ever made, to be honest._

 _There will be some Japanese words and terms that I purposely used. You might get confused by it and since I can't provide picture here, I will list some of the foreign terms you may rarely find in manga and translate it. Please check the second note on the bottom if you want to._

 _Lastly, there will be some **suggestive** **language** , but I'm not quite sure if I have to put this story on the M rated section. But if you feel the need for me to change its rating, please tell me so I can change it as to obey the rule in this site. Thank you for reading and please enjoy the story ^^_

* * *

 **Kokoro**

 _Two killers, two souls, two hearts. Around them, the world spins madly._

* * *

Neon light flashes in the vastness of the night and blindingly attract those idle and bored, those who simply want their reality overtaken by one night of pure ecstasy – those who are lonely in the crowd. Bold and sensual music blares out of two story buildings, a very place where devils roam freely and purrs drunken, saccharine sweet whispers.

They call it _Kyokai_ – the _boundary_ because they hang on the very edge of the bigger, more prosperous, darker place. _Kyokai_ sells entertainment for those whom on edge, making everything less classy and filthy, but as long as the pleasure is present, they will not ask for more. It is a simple concept of equivalent exchange, you reap what you sow – you gain what you give.

People are content with drinking half-heartedly shaken martini with too-hard olive inside. They can still lose it there – stress, sadness, fear – and will not mind to return, no matter how broke they are. It is a place to escape reality, to forget everything and succumb themselves into the ecstasy, dizzying happiness.

 _You reap what you sow_ is an unspoken saying around _Kyokai_. You stick your nose carelessly and no one will be surprised to find a rotten flesh around some corner of the darken alley. Because the deeper one walks, the darker he will succumb into. And _Kyokai_ is only the gate, the entrance of the real heaven where the highest degree of humankind nestled into. Those who label themselves as the low-kind and those unable to prove their worth are strictly forbidden to take even a step there. _Kyokai_ is only the poor imitation of the real heaven.

The real heaven is a district where dark business circulates. Drugs and illegal goods are smuggled and stored safely and not a word out of those involved. It is, at the same time, a place where _heaven_ pulled to the earth. With dark business swirling madly in the background, women take their act on the stage, standing in the blinding spotlight to deceive authority with their ability that no one but they can master.

Outsiders, dare not they set even a foot in the dark world, call it as _Yoshiwara no Gendai_ , a suiting name for the _yuukaku_ , but a victory trophy for those living and working there.

But _Yoshiwara no Gendai_ is not a mere _yuukaku_. _Yoshiwara no Gendai_ is a rich district – a place reserved only for those with money in return for a rooted loyalty of the house. Thus, to see a man clad in neat business suit with bodyguards around him as he walks around the place is not a strange thing to see. It is casual to see corrupt officials there, whether for business or pure entertainment.

Needless to say that it is a dangerous place to fish secrets.

Money is treated like the sun and business rotates around it like how the planets do. It is a place where loyalty proved can be obtained by money, no matter how shady the business is or how influential the person acts on the surface. People's background is not a matter to consider here, as long as they have sufficient money to pay, the house will speak nothing afterward.

Clad in a floral, Hawaiian button-up shirt and khaki pants, a man stride briskly towards one of the houses. Around him are his bodyguards, dressed in all black with sunglasses across their face. His face is unsurprisingly red with fury, and he makes it more obvious by kicking the pavement with sandal-clad feet as he walks.

" _Fuck that brat_ ," he swears in foreign language as he nears the house, a traditional eastern one with a red lampion as its sign. His bodyguards follow him right behind, wordlessly preparing themselves for the high chance of engaging with violence. " _I'll fucking kill him._ "

Normally, around Saturday night, there will be more guest coming to the traditional-styled house. _Mikadzuki_ is one of the most popular house around _Yoshiwara no Gendai_. Its unique style always attracts new faces and never fails to bring them fly to the cloud nine. For those unaware of the existence of the second business they specialize in are always make their third and fourth visit.

But they who aware of its existence are either return with ignorance to seek pure entertainment or kicking the house away from their destination list.

Tonight is a new moon. And every new moon, a certain person makes his regular visit to the house. But tonight, since there aren't many guests to begin with, he indulges himself in the quietness on the small space hidden by a plum blossom _sudare_ screen, gracefully lifting a golden and brown _kiseru_ from the _tabako-bon_. The soft tone of _koto_ echoes through the hallway.

His eyes are closed, listening to the soothing music and casually leans into the wall beside the round window. Tonight is a new moon, so it is a shade darker than the usual night. But he can see the outlines of a group walking briskly in the dark road with the leader carelessly stomping his foot to the ground almost purposely.

As they are nearing and steps into the light from the house sign, he cannot contain his smirk when the _shouji_ slides open with power that is far from necessary. The man silently wonders, as he eyes the _kiseru_ and decides that he needs more _kizami_ , what kind of drunken man dares to visit his quiet haven. The _koto_ still plays in the background, not caring for the guest.

" _Where the fuck is he?!_ "

There are sounds hurrying footsteps, several of them, heading to the _iriguchi_. He places the _kiseru_ in his mouth, breathing deep the rich scent of tobacco as he continues gazing into the night sky. He can almost see Altair with its small stars treading a delicate constellation of Aquila, along with Deneb and Vega. For a summer night sky, it is a little too cloudy for his liking.

Something breaks and he hears a surprised yelp. His eyes narrowing – the night is still young; he is not even half-way done with his night. He sticks his head out of the window, craning his neck and sees two men in black guarding the door.

 _Great. Now the guests are scared to approach this place now for sure_ , he thinks, much to his annoyance.

"Please, leave!" A slightly trembling and high-pitched voice yells. He can almost imagine the voice owner – short-haired young girl, an innocent and naïve little sister to one of the females who work there. Her usual chirpy voice is gone.

"Outta my way, _bitch._ " The deep voice snarled; he spats the last word as an insult.

"M-Master isn't here! He cancelled his visit tonight!" The voice's owner stands on her ground. He feels proud of the girl for no reason. But she is foolish to stand alone. "Kyaa! S-Stop! It hurts!"

He suppresses a sigh. Gazing to the new moon, he decides it is a bad night to visit _Mikadzuki_. Long, slender fingers rake through messy hair as he chews the _kiseru_ before places it to the _tabako-bon_. He sticks his head out the window again and sees the same men standing still at the entrance. He pulls his black _haori_ over the dark blue _kosode_.

The _koto_ goes quiet.

 **\- kokoro -**

The moment he slams open the door, she thinks she will be surprised by the sheer noise it produces. But she doesn't, for she has felt their presence and she guesses even the others are aware of their arrival – their shoes are shuffling too noisily. Her thin fingers are still softly threading the delicate string and producing pleasant noise to her ears. Hidden behind the artificial _sakura_ branches, she once again savoring the soothing melodies.

Beneath the tinted red lid, her rich brown eyes peers the man who barks nonsense across her by keeping him in the line of her sight whilst seeming to be enjoying the music. With a blink, her eyes sweep over the frantic white haired girl. The man is sure intimidating her greatly, but she will stay still for now. She wants to see what this girl capable of.

"Kyaa! S-Stop! It hurts!"

She cringes at the scream the girl lets out. The customer will hear it down the hallway and it will scare them out. _Mikadzuki_ cannot lose their customers just because of this incident. Those rich dogs are too precious to fly out of her grasp. She also takes it that _he_ will not like it to have his customer spreading issues. Her finger slips away from the thin thread, stopping the music right in the middle part as she stands.

" _Okyaku-sama_ ," she calls thinly, stepping out of her hiding spot. The man glances at her and she bats her eyelashes, lips slowly forming into a thin smile when she catches him fixing his eyes on her.

 _Caught you_.

"Is there anything that you need from the _furisode_ apprentice?" She purrs and slowly making her way to the man. Her _kimono_ is sweeping the floor as she loosens it to reveal her shoulders. "Or do you prefer me?"

The man visibly swallows as she places her hand on his chest, long eyelashes batting slowly and red, luscious lips bloom a seductive smile. She then turns to the younger female, ushering her to prepare the VIP room.

"Well, where is my manner in front of a lady," the man stammers, placing his hand around her waist, "The man, _Ryuu_ , is he present?"

"Of course. Please, this way, _okyaku-sama_."

Like a butterfly into the spider web, the man dances right into her palm. She would like to lie, telling him that the man he seeks is currently having a business overboard, but the presence that hides behind the _sudare_ screen seems to be against her lying.

Walking deeper into the building, in the corridors, she makes sure to keep the man entertained. But he is an easy man – with the smallest dirty joke she threw at him is allowing her to see desires pooling in his eyes. The man is lusting over her, but she chooses to play pretend. She can play pretend until they arrived at the room.

The outer appearance of the VIP room seems the same as the other room, but what lies beyond it is more extravagant. The white haired girl from before is standing beside the _shoji_ , holding a _shamisen_ with nervous face.

She lets the man enter first and stopping beside the girl, saying, "You can retire to your room for today, Lisanna."

The girl lets out a small gasp, looking bewildered. "Is that fine, Lucy- _nee_? I'm afraid if he will be… rough at you."

The courtesan simply gives her a thin smile, effectively silencing her before she runs with a bright red face. Lucy then enters the room, closing the door behind her with the barest sound before gliding her way to the man. She is pouring _sake_ into its cup when the man suddenly pulls her, lays her to the _tatami_ and dives his head to her slender neck.

"I heard you've never been touched by any man, the untouchable courtesan is what they call you," the man says as he places kisses on the column of her neck, "How about loosening that beautiful red sash of yours for me tonight?"

She lets out a giggle, placing her hand on the _obi_ and pulls it slowly. "Impatient, aren't you, _okyaku-sama_?" she asks. "But I believe that _Ryuu-sama_ is already present, so we will have to reschedule our… meeting."

With the softest sound, the _shoji_ slides open and then closed with a small clap sound. The man above her quickly removed himself from her, smoothing the crumpled floral shirt to face the man dressed in dark blue _kosode_ and black _haori_. The courtesan fixes her layered _kimono_ and _obi_ before slides to side of the arriving man, pours _sake_ and whispers something to him.

The man smiles, mutters a small thank you to her before he holds his gaze with the other male. "I believe we have reached to an agreement several nights ago," he begins, "So to what do I owe the pleasure of meeting you again, Fraude-san."

The man called Fraude laughs from across him, wiping tears as his laugh subdues. He slaps his hand to his knee before his gaze turns serious. " _Ryuu_ , there is something I found not to my liking regarding our… previous contract."

"And that is?"

Pulling out the _kiseru_ , he put _kizami_ in the _sake_ cup and lights it on the charcoal fire in the _bonbori_. The puff of smoke levitates in the air, slowly ascending to the ceiling as he lies and sighs.

"You didn't finish off Kazuki. It's clearly written in our contract and he ambushed my haven in Hawaii," the man seethes, "You dare to play with me, you son of a bitch!"

Lucy narrows her eyes, momentarily stopping her stroke on _Ryuu-sama_ 's unruly hair. The man whose head is resting on her lap laughs at Fraude in return. Lucy can't help but smiling and continues her activity.

"Ah, so that's the case," _Ryuu-sama_ gives him a smirk whilst his eyes narrow, "Lucy, please show Fraude-san our Specialty. As an apology from me."

Fraude's eyebrows knitted, but she is quick to throw him a thin smile and seductive look, an effective way to silence the man. She stands as _Ryuu-sama_ removes his head and use his shoulder and arm to support his weight.

He stands as Lucy slides to him and places hand on his torso. The foreign man doesn't hesitate to pull her closer to him and whispers, "I expect some extra services," to her which causes her to giggle.

 _Ryuu-sama_ lets out a smirk as he exhales smoke.

The butterfly has stuck to the sticky web, unable to move its delicate wings as it was unaware of the thin web as it flew. What's left is the struggle it does – it dances wildly when the predator comes into the sighting. And of course, like any other butterfly that flies aimlessly, once it stuck to the web, it would be unable to be set free.

The twenty-two customers of _Mikadzuki,_ each resides inside the divided rooms, are serviced with the courtesan of their liking, unaware about anything that goes on in the small, dark, secluded room. But those who know about the other business that runs behind the equally sinful business, chooses to stay quiet and put their innocent façade.

Two days later, it is rumoured that a body is found in an alley around _Kyokai_ and later is identified as the leading man of an underground group, which has been a fugitive for the last two years.

What the media says is that he was drunk and got into an accident and the stray animals feed on his corpse.

But some people know better.

 **\- kokoro -**

If there is any day where the customer of _Mikadzuki_ disappointed with, it would be Wednesday. _Ryuu-sama_ had made it official to close the house every Wednesday, so that the ladies can rest. Even so, this event leads to an official vacation day for the courtesans, which have been decided since the last week to go to the beach. _Furisode_ apprentices are tagging along as their _onee-san_ will give them extended training there.

But there is one that refused to go, despite all the bribery she received from her friends.

She stands in the doorway, leaning casually to the door frame as her _furisode_ apprentice pouts. The white haired girl with the brightest blue eyes is clearly showing her disappointment – lips pouting and eyes red from crying. Lucy can only sigh at the appearance of her apprentice before she crouches and places her hands on the girl's reddening cheek.

"Lisanna, you know that I have to help _Ryuu-sama_ ," she gently says, caressing the cheek, "That's why I leave you in Erza-san's care. Just for today."

Lisanna looks like she will burst into tears again. However, Lucy knows the reason; the girl is still too shaken by the rude customer several nights ago and had been sticking close to her ever since.

"It's okay, Lis. Mira-san, your sister, will be there, too. You will be okay with them," she adds.

"But will you be okay, _nee-san_?"

Lucy blinks slowly, before she burst into a fit of giggles.

"You should take a day off, too! I feel that you have been thinking of something. I often saw you spacing out and sighing," Lisanna argues, pouting even more as her _oira no nee-san_ giggles harder.

The apprentice of hers is just too cute for her own safety, Lucy decides as she pushes her to the approaching red haired woman. "Oh, shush! Erza-san is waiting. Now, go. Have fun!"

The _furisode_ apprentice walks, almost dejectedly, toward her temporary _nee-san_. Lucy mutters a small apology to Erza which she replies with a smile and shake of head, telling her that it is fine and that she will do a good job training Lisanna for the day.

The bus starts the engine and proceeds to the main road as soon as the two last passengers take their seats. Lucy waves at the group of women with some of them yelling about getting her and _Ryuu-sama_ souvernirs.

She enters the building, sliding close the door behind her quietly and lets out another sigh. The usually busy building, noisy with _koto_ practices and bustling with cleaning the rooms, is now empty. Lucy brushes her orange _yukata_ , thinking how she should spend the day without anything to do. The excuse of helping _Ryuu-sama_ is, of course, a lie.

 _I lied again…_

Maybe she can go to the library or to the book store. It is quite a long way there; since both are located on the other side of the city, but it is more preferable than sitting idly in the empty building.

She makes her walk to her room, located on the second story of the building, and almost bump herself with _Ryuu-sama_ when she walks back to the entrance.

The man gives her a long stare, narrowing his dark eyes upon noticing her purse. Lucy suddenly feels self-conscious with him staring at her. It's not every day for him to spend the night in the house. It is because, just like the name of the house, the man only come, makes his visit upon the night when the crescent moon falls.

Though, she manages to pull out a small smile and greets him.

" _Ohayougozaimasu, Ryuu-sama_."

The man nods in return. Lucy thought she has broke the ice, but his eyes are still glued to her purse, so she explains, "I'm going to the book store. Is there anything you want me to buy for you?"

"You aren't going with the other," he states instead. "Why?"

 _Ryuu-sama_ sweeps his eyes to her face, meeting her dark brown ones and she can't help but fidgeting under his stares. This is so unlike her, she tells herself, mentally slapping her face – she always makes sure to put on her thin, seductive smile to men but somehow, _Ryuu-sama_ manages to make her stutter instead.

"I…" she tightens her hold to her purse, "I have an appointment with a friend there. We promised to meet and shop books together."

It wasn't a lie. She really is going to meet someone there. Maybe not promised, but she knows she will meet her friend, nonetheless.

"Then… I will be off," Lucy excuses herself, bowing and walking past the man. But not even three steps she made, a hand caught her wrist and makes her stop walking. She turns, heart beating loudly in her chest and ringing in her ears, and faces the man again.

He looms over her smaller figure, making her pulling several steps behind until her back meets the wall. _Ryuu-sama_ stares at her as she unconsciously sweeps tongue over her dry lips, making it glisten in the dimly lit corridor. His eye narrows when she bits her lower lips and refuses to see him in the eye. The _oiran_ feels blood rushes to her face, making it heating up at the proximity of theirs.

Her hand, caught by his larger, stronger one, is placed above her head while his other hand snakes around her waist, pulling her closer to him, closing the gap between them. Her heart is racing fast, drumming loudly in her ears, and she can't do anything other than trying to push him away with her hand on his shoulder.

The man dives his head to the exposed column of her neck, placing kisses from the base and ascending to the jaw line. Lucy fisted his _haori_ as she tries to maintain her erratic breath once she feels his breath on her ears.

A shiver runs down her body when he whispers her name there, and she cannot help but whimpering his name in return.

She feels his lips meet hers, a long and sweet kiss before it turns into a more heated one. Her head is dizzy as she cannot process what is going on. He pulls out and dives his head once again to her neck, savouring her taste.

" _R-Ryuu-sama…_ " she breathes, "I will be l-late."

He growls. "Stay."

"I can't, my friend–" she gasps as he bites her on the shoulder, "We already p-promised."

 _Ryuu-sama_ clicks his tongue, fixing her crumpled _yukata_. "Fine."

He takes a step behind and releases her hand, allowing her to fix her _obi_ and brushes her bangs. Lucy stares to the side, not trusting her eye to see him after what he did. "T-Then, I will be off, _Ryuu-sama_ ," she excuses.

Something falls behind her back, tickling her neck and she turns only to see him walking away with her _kanzashi_ within his grasp.

"Punishment," he says as he walks away, "for not calling my name."

Lucy stilled and has to force her feet to move. Upon seeing her reflection on the mirror in the _iriguchi_ , an angry red mark is visible even in the dimly lit room. She quickly places a hand over the mark, biting her lips as her eyes water.

"Natsu…" she is half-whispering, chokes his name out while digging her purse for any band aid or anything that can cover it, but only manages to find a small blue ribbon.

Lucy sits in the place where she usually plays the _koto_ , hidden by the artificial _sakura_ branches, and sweeps her hair to the side and starts braiding them. Her mind flew to the small incident happened just minutes ago. The way he acted was completely out of the notion, uncalled, _wrong_.

The pooling water in her eyes blurs whatever around her, distorting the world that surrounds her in the most intricate way. She shudders – did he punish her for not being good enough? The thought sends a wave of dizziness, making she pauses her braiding.

He never did that before.

She swallows the bile that rushes to her throat, leaving an unpleasant taste on her tongue before she sighs and continues her braiding.

 _I shouldn't be like this._

Lucy directs all of her concentration to her work, making sure to make it neat. When the braid is finished, she secures it with the blue ribbon and goes to the mirror to examine her work. The mirror reflects a smiling woman with lips painted in soft pink lipstick.

Lucy guesses she is still the good actress she used to be.

 **\- kokoro -**

Thursday is the busiest day in the week, as the amount of the customers doubled the usual quota, reaching the point where one has to make a reservation first in order to get the _oiran_ they want.

The ladies came back in the Wednesday evening, flooding Lucy with souvenirs both for her and _Ryuu-sama_. Lisanna came to her with a necklace and proudly said it was custom made, a special gift for her. The girl is as sweet as ever, telling her to look at it when she feels down and cheer up.

One of the girls asked her to give a souvenir to _Ryuu-sama_ , which Lucy gently refused by saying, "It would be more sincere if you give him yourself, Mayu-chan. I'm sure _Ryuu-sama_ will be pleased if you do."

The _furisode_ apprentice with black hair blushes several shades of red – she looks like Lisanna when she talked about him. Both Mayu and Lisanna are still in their innocent age; they fall easily to men, in spite of the world they are about to step in is a dangerous place if you give your heart easily.

Being a courtesan is not an easy job, despite what they did.

Mayu fidgets in her blue _furisode_ , thin fingers gripping tight a small box warped in a floral patterned paper. "But, _nee-san_ ," she whispers, "Aren't you close with _Ryuu-sama_?"

Lucy's breath is hitched, being caught in the windpipe. She quickly covers her mouth before she coughs. "I'm so sorry, Mayu-chan, but I have to go prepare the rooms with the other," she says, not quite lying, "I promise I will make it up to you, together with Lisanna."

Mayu nods and Lucy walks into the rooms, helping the other to set up the usual ornaments and goes upstairs to help the courtesan with their layered _kimono_ or their hairdos. Several girls come and ask her if she needs any help for getting ready, in return of her helping them.

She shakes her head as a no, telling them that she has no appointment for this evening, which is very rare, and that she will play _koto_ in the _iriguchi_ like she did every time she has no appointment.

The evening falls and the customer comes. The _oiran_ they chose has readied herself in the rooms with each of her apprentice playing _shamisen._ Lucy plays the _koto_ with Lisanna sitting beside her, examining how her slender fingers dance delicately on the strings of the traditional music instrument.

The customer keeps on going, passing her and Lisanna each time they enter or exits the house. Most of them would ask to the courtesan, who plays the music and would like to have her playing in the room instead the _shamisen_ , but it is not allowed for the customer to request such and thus, the courtesans continues to entertain their customer.

None of the _oirans_ ever make any protest about her playing _koto_ and make their customer wants to make her to play in their room – Lucy does play beautifully, no one can resist her music and dance.

Upon the arrival of a man clad in red _kosode_ , Lucy pauses her playing, gaining a questioning look from her apprentice. Noticing the fiery red hair, she knew who the man is, but unless her presence is required, she refuses to reveal herself. Her fingers slowly thread the thin strings once again.

A small gasp from Lisanna makes her eyes opened and swiftly sweeps to see the man from before stands beside her. Lucy makes a quick glance to the background and sees none of the _furisode_ apprentices is waiting for him.

This calls for her to act.

"I'm not in a hurry," he says, "Please finish the song first."

Lucy gives him a smile as Lisanna asks, "Would you like me to accompany _nee-san_ with my _shamisen_ , _Kyaku-sama_?"

"If it doesn't disturb you with your study, then please do," is his reply.

Lisanna pulls the _shamisen_ from behind her as Lucy swiftly changes the song into one that is pleasant with the company of _shamisen_. The duet creates a pleasant harmony, tickling the curiosity of the people passing by and attracts new face into the house.

The man sits beside her, smiling when he feels another presence in the _iriguchi_. He motions to the person to wait until the song finishes. The person with _kiseru_ in his hand replied with a nod and walks away.

"Such a beautiful playing," the man says once the song finishes. He turns to Lisanna, praising her, "You will turn into a fine woman, just like your _nee-san_ here."

He stands, offering a hand to Lucy, which she takes with more gracefulness rather than seduction. She turns to Lisanna, telling her to retire to her room and practice dancing as she has to accompany the man to meet _Ryuu-sama_.

When they arrive in the VIP room, _Ryuu-sama_ is already there. He puts away the _kiseru_ to the _tabako-bon_ once they enter the room. The man makes his seat across _Ryuu-sama_ while Lucy pours _sake_ to its cup and giving it to the two men before makes her seat on _Ryuu-sama's_ side.

A pleasant scent comes from the burning incense, but she can feel the tension growing. The air around them is heavy, despite the ever-present smile on the guest's face.

But Lucy knows better than to take the façade lightly.

The man with fiery red hair is one of the renowned men in the underworld with quite a big name in the business world. The business he owns is extending vast, from the small marketplace to the international trading business. _Mikadzuki_ , too, is one of the businesses he owns. Needless to say that he is a dangerous man beneath the calm and kind face of his.

A businessman is known as the best actor, after all.

He is Igneel Dragneel, known as _Akai_ by his enemies and is recognized as one of the most influential person in the underworld.

And across him, sitting with Lucy by his side, is none other than his foster son, named Natsu Dragneel.

" _Chichi-ue_ ," the son greets the father with a slight nod of the head, "It's been a long time."

The head of Dragneel family nods his head in return, acknowledging the aloof greet his son made. "I heard you had a small problem with a foreign man. Fraude was his name, I suppose," his deep, rumbling voice echoes throughout the big room.

"Indeed, but it's nothing big. Lucy took care of him."

The image of a screaming man flashes before her. The pleas and begs, the sensation when his hand circling around the wrist of her foot for forgiveness, the pale white stricken face as she stares at him indifferently and plunge the _katana_ deep into his chest, where thick blood gushes out and pools around his lifeless body, are all she can recall from the killing she did several nights ago.

She shudders at the memory.

It was disgusting.

But she can't help but liking it.

"I'm wondering if you are up to my request," Igneel's voice pulls her from the memory. "An assassination mission."

Lucy's eyes gleam, lips curl into a thin smile. Assassination – the word never fails to bring excitement rush into her, bubbling from the deepest, twisted part of her mind. The man sitting beside her peers at her smiling face before agreeing to his father's request.

Igneel provides him with the photo of the wanted man, a face with piercing and long, dark hair.

"I have a high expectation for this one. I know Lucy can take care of him," Igneel's red eyes sweep to her, which she takes it as an encouragement. Her smile widens, a giggle from the sheer excitement almost escaping her lips.

Natsu's voice is full of pride as he replies his father.

"Of course. She is my precious weapon, after all."

Laughter erupts from Igneel and amidst the resonating laughter and the small giggles she forced to let out, her chest contracting. Something makes she shift uncomfortably in her seat. Heat pools in her chest, contracting unnervingly. She can't quite comprehend the foreign feeling that invades her chest – as though her chest was impaled by her own _katana_.

Two bottles of _sake_ and a dance from her for the two men later, Igneel decides that he has been away from his office long enough and to retire for the night. Lucy walks the man to the entrance where he gives her a hug and a gentle pat on her head.

The night is still young – it is barely touching the midnight – and Lucy goes back behind the _koto_ to play some more song. Lisanna must have tires herself out from practicing the dance and she doesn't want to bother the sleeping girl. Thus, Lucy is left alone in the _iriguchi_ , playing _koto_ as to escape the ever-growing ache in her chest.

 _Ryuu-sama_ is heartless.

 _She is my precious weapon, after all._

He really is a heartless person. But she isn't a human herself. _A weapon_ , she tells herself, reminding herself that she is his weapon. She exists to be his accomplish. And as a weapon, she is expected to be heartless as well, just like how her owner is.

Her task is just to entertain him, carry out whatever he asks to be done by her, all with the perfectionist's perfection.

 _Ryuu-sama_ is heartless and thus, she has to be one, too.

The song echoes throughout the house, lulling the drunken men in their room, hypnotizing the women in the midst of their entertaining, piercing like a thousand arrows to a person's heart in his wake.

The song makes her forget about what _Ryuu-sama_ did to her yesterday, for the good or the bad.

 **.:.:.:.**

 _"Gajeel-sama! Please escape!"_

 _"I can't leave you alone with that mad woman, squirt!"_

 _"You are injured, foolish man! Get away! Now!"_

 ** _STAB_**

 _"Levy!"_

 _Thump thump thump_

 _"Lu…-chan…?"_

 _"L-Le…vy-chan…?"_

 **.:.:.:.**

The moon almost come to its peak cycle. In the empty boulevard, beneath the shades of a tree, a man sits in a black car, smoking a cheap smoke he can find in the car, tasting the bad, foreign taste of the tobacco. He would like to use his _kiseru_ , but he would not want to risk the sentimental item.

He is guarding, despite the fact that most of his men is making his guard already, taking place in random places and disguising expertly. The sole heir of the renowned Dragneel Corporation is guarding, no, _waiting._

The summer night provides him with a slight cool wind and the clearest sky. Too clear for his liking. If his sister's premonition is right, tonight is supposed to be another night when the mission is completed successfully.

But he can't be at rest since the morning. Something bad is bound to happen when he feels that way.

"Lucy…" he found himself whispering her name, the assassin's name that is currently on a mission to kill the heir of his father's rivaling company. It is very unfortunate, but he knows the heir personally. They have met several times in the past, and having the same taste and way of thinking, they thought of joining hands once they both gain the company.

He never thought that things will go this way.

Apparently, one of the rivaling company's underlings had fished some secret in _Yoshiwara no Gendai_ and managed to find the weakness of his father's company and threatened him to agree to an unfair agreement. That reason is logical for him – if he wants to keep the company stand tall and proud, sometimes dirtying hand is the only option available.

Not like he has never gotten his hand dirtied, anyways.

It has been five years since his last personal killing and from the past five years, Lucy has been the one who did all the killing from both his father and his clients' request. He is proud of her as she has never failed once and always manages to come back without any single scratch.

A sonorous sound of metal scraping against the asphalt road pulls him back to his senses. The road ahead is empty, but he can see a figure several meters away from his car through the rear-view mirror. The figure is walking rather limply with its long clothes waving as a sudden gust of wind blows.

Upon the sight of golden hair, Natsu curses beneath his breath as he flings out of his car to the fallen figure. The female, the woman is pale faced, with her small lips forming a weak smile as he lifts her bleeding form from the ground. Some of the men approach him, and it takes all of him not to bark at them and quietly orders them to remove the trail of blood and pulls one of them to drive his car.

"Headquarter. Quick!" he barks to the man behind the wheel, making he pushes the gas and speed up in the empty boulevard.

Natsu slips out of his _haori_ , twisting the delicate fabric around his hand and applies pressure to the side of her body. Blood doesn't stop flowing, but it is the best he can do for now. Until they reach the headquarter and get her to the medic's hand, all he can do is to make sure she stays awake.

" _R-Ryuu…_ " she wheezes out, flinching at the pain shot from her side.

"Dammit, don't talk! Just stay awake! Look at me!"

The blood seeps into the cloth around his hand, smearing deep red into her cherry blossom _kimono_. He often made comments to her when she tried wearing _kimono_ for the first time that red suits her, but he never meant it this way.

She coughs blood as the car makes a swift drive, stopping abruptly as they arrive at the tall building. Natsu pushes open the door while the driving man runs and called for the medics. He lifts her, cradling her dainty form in his arms as he dashes into the left wing.

"Th-e m-miss..ion…" Lucy whispers again, gaining Natsu's attention as he skids around the corner and meet the medics with a stretcher. He puts her to the stretcher and pushes it along with the other medics.

Several men suddenly pull him back right before he enters the room, saying that he has to leave her within their care. However, the voice goes unheard as he watches in a motion blur as her mouth moves, mouthing a word right before the door closes before him.

Rapping sound behind him somehow pulls him back to the present. He blinks slowly before registering the faces of his father and sister.

"N-Natsu- _nii-sama_ ," he hears his sister calling him, "You are bleeding…"

Natsu examines his body, a dark blue _yukata_ drenched in blood and hand covered in the tangy scented liquid. "I'm sorry, Wendy," _for seeing such a scary thing_ , "Don't worry, it's not my blood. I'll go wash my hand and change my clothes."

He went to the restroom, silently grateful upon finding it empty, and washes his hand. The water turns into pink tinted as blood is removed from his hand and arms. The blood… it was her blood; tangy and sweet at the same time, disgusting yet so pure. This mission isn't her first bloodbath, but still a war that she risks herself by putting her own life for someone else. For _him_.

The crack of the mirror, along with the stinging pain that shoots from his hand against the mirror, somehow manages to release his emotion.

 _If only I took the mission instead of giving it to her…_

A click open of the door and the presence of a person make him curses silently. He looks in the mirror, only to see his father bringing him a change of clothes without commenting his state.

"I'll leave it here. Come to the meeting room after you've finished changing," was all he says before closing the door.

Natsu sighs heavily, looking to his face and washes it to calm himself. His fingers injured from punching the mirror, all fresh cuts are still leaking blood, but he doesn't care. He needs to meet his father to report about the mission. Throwing away the _yukata_ to the trash bin, he slips into the black suit, not bothering to buttoning the entire shirt.

His sister is the first person he meets upon exiting the restroom, with head slightly bowed and a box of first-aid kit in her hold.

"Let me treat your wound, _nii-sama_ ," she says, grabbing him by the hem of the suit to find a seat. She gently pulls his right hand and applied the alcohol on the cuts before covering them with band aids. "Lucy-san will be fine. If you can't trust the medics, then trust me."

The man nods, murmuring a small thank you before walking briskly to the meeting room. His bodyguards following behind him and opens the door for him as he arrives at the room.

Inside the room is only his father, sitting in the furthest seat from the door. His hands resting on the long desk, face losing its usual kind and carefree impression. And as though he could read his mind, his father opens his mouth. "Lucy is alright, the medics said the damage doesn't hit the vital part. She'll be awake by tomorrow."

Natsu blinks, gripping the edge of the desk tight as tension seems to be dissipating from him. "The mission is a success," he reports, "I've told some of our men to erase the trace. There is no evidence left."

"So I've heard," his father replies shortly. "Thank you, Natsu. I'll transfer the payment later."

He bows and is about to pull the door open when his father says, "Just a moment. I want to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Take good care of her," his father says, "She's a precious asset."

 **\- kokoro -**

She remembers her first kill. It was five years ago, one day in the coldness of winter, when the first snow of the year fell. The man whose soul was taken by her must have his family waiting for him back in his house, maybe with his children looking out the window, wondering when their father would arrive and with his wife cooking his favorite meal. On her first kill, she used a revolver instead of a sword, because that weapon is what her master gave her.

She remembers coming back to the room where she got briefed before, the fiery red haired man introduced her to his son, a teenager two or three years older than her. She remembers he introduced himself as _Ryuu_ , which later she added the suffix _–sama_ out of admiration.

His hand was colder than the snow, back then.

 _Ryuu-sama_ 's first praise for her was when she managed to come back from the most dangerous mission completely unscathed. Although she was covered in blood, the male didn't hesitate to help her washing her hair and said that she did a great job. He was smiling at her for the first time and she wanted him to smile often at her.

So, she put more effort to each mission, making sure to come back without any injury so he could praise her again. That one time, she gave her a small kiss on the cheek instead of a soft pat and he revealed his name only for her to hear. She would blush into several shades of red if only he lingered for a second longer.

But then, after a mission where she had to kill a twin kids, she found herself unable to come back. Something snapped within her and it hurt her chest. For the first time in four years, she cried in regret.

She came back in the morning, but _Ryuu-sama_ didn't even look at her, even after she reported her success mission. He had been starting to keep his distance, never showing up around _Mikadzuki_ as often, and only made his visit during the night when the crescent moon shines. Her mission briefings came in the shape of mail and they were devoid of his feelings.

And thus, she endured, keeping up the role as an untouchable _oiran_ for her customers, a kind _nee-san_ for her _furisode_ apprentice and a capable, unbreakable killing machine for him. She never speaks what inside her mind, keeping it close to herself, unwilling to reveal her weakness.

But the incident several days ago was a switch, a small glitch that prevents her to function as usual. She is always a good actress, improvising effectively when if _Ryuu-sama_ has to act himself out to win his clients' heart.

However, in that incident, she knows something is different about him. He had never touched her that way, kissed her that way.

It overwhelms her.

And this is how she breaks. Her hesitation during her mission leads her to a bad scenario. She thought of removing her feelings, she prayed to _Kami-sama_ that He can take her feelings so she doesn't need to pretend that she is fine – she is reaching the point of breaking, where her feeling is no longer numb, but bursting out like a bubble.

Killing becomes one thing she enjoys, but she always regrets it in the aftermath, blaming herself for not being good enough to receive _Ryuu-sama_ 's praise. It disgusts her, the way she easily slit a woman's neck, the way she wraps her hand around a child's neck, the way she plunge deep her _katana_ into her victim's chest yet it relieves her when she sees blood oozing of the body or when she feels the coldness of the corpse.

All in all, she did it to win _Ryuu-sama_ 's praise.

 _Punishment; for not calling my name._

 _Ah, yes_ , she tells herself, reminded – her _kanzashi_ is still with him. She wonders if she can ever get it back without making him angrier than he already has. Surely, it was her fault for not calling his name – _Natsu_. But he said it himself, that she is her precious weapon. How come a weapon can call its master's by his given name?

She remembers, albeit her memory is rather blurry, how she finished her target off and fled before the reinforcement came. But something caused her to act without her usual effectiveness, as she missed the bullet which went through to her side, effectively decreasing her speed.

She was one step closer to her target, she had already injured him and could silently slit his neck, but someone managed to hold her back, attacking her in a deadly jab of martial art. There were banters came from the two, showing an opening to the female fighter which she used the chance to finish her off.

The moonlight decides to make the two best friends met in the worst possible scene, the fighter female called her name, face pale both from blood loss and shock.

Lucy would be lying if she didn't shocked.

Levy McGarden, Levy-chan, a bookworm she met at the library, her best friend, was killed by her own hand.

She quickly learnt that Levy and her target were lovers, so she quickly finished the man off, for the sake of her mission and for them to rejoin in the afterlife.

Laughter was all she could pull off and following it, then, were tears. Something deep inside her was broken.

She had never known that heart is such a fragile thing.

When the evening falls, _Yoshiwara no Gendai_ comes to its life. The houses promise the pleasure one can only attain there, each with its own style. _Mikadzuki_ , just like the usual, opens its entrance door wide and the pleasing, inviting scent from the incense spread throughout the road and never failed to bring new faces into the house.

One thing that has been absent from the past ten days is the pleasant music from _koto_ , which played by no one but the untouchable _oiran_. Her _furisode_ apprentice would sometimes play it, just some simple and short songs that last only for a quarter of the night.

The girls were all curious about the absence of a certain _oiran_ , but quickly send their wishes of get well soon when she first came back to the house with _Ryuu-sama_. He told them that she got into an accident and she had to rest for several weeks.

What happened to her is, once again, only for the two to know.

Several days later, exactly two weeks since her accident, _Ryuu-sama_ comes to stay the night in the house. The girls try to invite him to their room, offering her dance or something more, but he, just like how he usually did in the house, refuses all the offers and chooses to be alone.

This night, though, he makes a visit to a certain room, the one that is occupied by a female with long blonde locks and her apprentice. The thin _shoji_ door shows a silhouette of a girl, holding what it seems as a fan with graceful movement.

If he remembers right, the girl is Lisanna, the younger sister of Mirajane who works here as a courtesan.

He softly knocks the sliding door and the silhouette of the girl stops moving. She places the fan before sliding open the door, blushing when she sees him. "Ah, _Ryuu-sama_!" she gasps.

"Is Lucy in?" he asks, ignoring the girl's reddening face.

" _Nee-san…_ of course, you must be looking for her," she mumbles, "She is in the washroom– Ah! I should be helping her changing the bandage!"

"No," he found himself stopping her. The girl looks up to him, tilting her head in confusion. "I'll help her; you should continue your dance practice."

Lisanna lets out a squeak before scurrying inside and giving him a roll of bandage to him. Her face is reddening even more. " _A-Arigatougozaimasu, Ryuu-sama_!" she stutters which he replied with a small nod. The _shoji_ door closed with a rather loud clasp, making him wonder if he had done something weird by showing upstairs.

The washroom is located in the back of the house and as most of the females are currently serving the customers, the washroom is empty. He hears the sound of trickling water and he makes his stop right at the front of the room where the water sound comes. His knuckle lifts, wondering if he should let her know or just placing the bandage roll there.

"Lisanna? Is that you?" A feminine voice resounds throughout the empty room. "I'm sorry, but can you help me with the bandage? It's quite difficult to put it on by myself."

The door slides open, revealing Lucy clad only in her half-undone bathrobe and wet hair. She freezes upon seeing him and he blinks slowly, which returned with equally slow blink from her. It takes her a whole minute for her to fully comprehend the situation she is currently in. Blush creeps from her neck and her eyes widens in surprise.

The door slides close with a loud bang.

Natsu stands still before he leans his back to the door, somehow feeling hot around his face as he covers it with his free hand.

Neither of them is voicing their jumbled thought, untrusting their mouths to talk.

"Lucy," he sighs, breaking the awkward silence, "Let me help you with the bandage."

"No! Don't!" her reply is frantic, shouting as if he can't hear it with only her talking in her usual voice, "P-Please get Lisanna here instead!"

He notices her stammer. Something isn't right. Natsu stares at the door before suddenly forcing the door to slide open. What lies before him is the female with pale face and erratic breath. It surprises him, but upon noticing a red trail coming from her sides, he clicks his tongue and quickly lifts her.

The man ignores the punches of protest that she throws at him and dashes to her room – suddenly wishing he was wearing jeans rather than the traditional clothes. They arrived in her room, with Lisanna still practicing her dance and quickly stopping once she sees the man and her bleeding _nee-san_. The girl quickly laid out the _futon_ and running downstairs to take a bowl of water.

Natsu laid her on the _futon_ carefully as not to make the wound opens wider. She flinches as he whispers a small apology and pulls open the bathrobe on its torso part. Lisanna comes just as he needs the water – the girl blushes profusely before squeaking that she will wait downstairs.

He uses whatever cloth he could find in the room to suppress the blood from leaking out more, before wiping the blood and warps the bandage around her torso.

"Where's your clothes?" he asks.

"I'm capable to dress on my own," is her reply, "Thank you for helping me, _Ryuu-sama_."

The man seems to ignore her reply and opening her drawers one by one in search of any simple _yukata_. "Shut up, you can't even sit yet," he finally returns her reply.

True to his word, Lucy can't even move her body without having the blood gushing out. It is a relief that she has worn her undergarments back in the washroom. But still, she can't let him see her pathetic form any more.

The man turns with a red _yukata_ in his hand, one that she forgot about having them. He sits by her side, muttering another apologizes before removing the bathrobe, only to see furious red scratches throughout her biceps.

"Lucy, what are–"

"It's disgusting," she interjects, smiling slightly as she grabs the _yukata_ from him and slips into it without caring about her injury. "The blood, it disgusts me. I can't get rid of them."

"It disgusts me, but I like it," she continues, her voice become quiet, "Killing is wrong, but I enjoy it. The sight of blood gushing out of their skin, the coldness touch after they died… I enjoy them."

Natsu watches her as she struggles with her words, water forming in her eyes. "I killed my friend on the last mission," she confesses, "She was hindering me, so I killed her before I knew it was her all along. The target… the man was her lover so I thought of killing him too."

"So they can be together in the afterlife."

Natsu can imagine it, as he had been in her position several years ago before he met her. The one he had to kill was his stepmother, who bore his sister Wendy. Back then, he didn't know that he was killing her. His father only instructed him to slip in the white powder to his mother's teacup when she didn't see and when his mother drank the tea, he thought she was simply tired and decided to sleep. He was just eleven back then, unable to fully understand that he was being used by his own father.

 _Kami-sama_ and his father know what actually happened.

But… even now, he is still one of his father's marionettes.

"I thought that I can be a killing machine," Lucy's voice becomes raspy as tears leak out of her eyes, "I thought that I can throw my feelings away and become heartless."

Natsu narrows his eyes. "Why do you want to be heartless?"

"It's easier that way and I thought that you would prefer me like that."

"What–"

"Aren't I only your weapon? I wouldn't have to feel sad if you throw me away in the future."

Lucy pushes herself to sit, still ignoring the pain shot from her side. Her long hair falls to her back and pools on the _futon_. The man watches her in complete silence, hand gripping his grey _haori_.

" _Ryuu-sama_ , please tell me. What is the shape of your heart?" Lucy turns at him, smiling despite the tears that continue to fall. "What is the shape of _my_ heart?"

 _A heart_ , he tells himself, _doesn't have any shape. It can't even be seen, but it can be felt. It is there, inside you, although invisible. It is what drives your urge, your need._

 _It is what makes you lust._

"A heart," he begins, "can't be seen and it doesn't have any concrete shape to begin with, but mine is similar to a hole that sucks everything. And so does yours."

The female blinks slowly, taking in the information that must have been a new thing for her. "Then, can you remove your heart?"

Natsu shakes his head. "Your heart is what makes you want something, so you can't remove it. No matter how hard you try."

The man slowly pulls her into him, closing the gap between them, bringing her into his chest. "Call my name," he whispers to the female, kissing the crown of her head.

"…Natsu," her voice comes out as a quiet whisper, muffled by his _haori_. "Natsu… Natsu…"

"It is what my heart wanted," he says, "For you to call my name."

He places both of his hands on her cheek, tugging her face to look at him. "You are not a weapon," he states, making her eyes widen, "You are Lucy, a woman, a _human_. You can never cast away your heart."

"But it hurts to feel," she argues, hiccuping, "It hurts so much to feel the aftermath. I never wanted to kill Levy-chan, but I did and I'm regretting it. It hurts. I'm regretting it all."

"That's why I am here. I will take away those hurt feelings. My heart will heal yours."

Lucy looks at Natsu in the eye, taking in the warmth, something she has never experienced, never felt before. Pooling deep in his onyx eyes lies something that comforts her, something that manages to take her breath away in one simple glance.

"Close your eyes and listen," he says, his breath tickling her as he dives his face closer to hers, "What do your heart wants?"

She closes her eyes, feeling the arms around her, feeling the warmth radiating from his chest, feeling the tenderness of his voice.

"Natsu."

He smiles, lips brushing against hers as he stares at her closed eyes. He takes in all of her; her smile, her blush, her giggle, her selflessness, her scar, her weakness, her fear, her heart. She is beautiful despite of what she thinks about herself. She is innocent despite all her sinful deed.

Her heart is calling for him and he is reaching out to her.

"And there you have me."

It is the first time for her to feel the knot in her chest disappearing. No worries, no regret, no remorse.

Her heart feels light.

* * *

 ** _Japanese terms' meaning:_**

 _Kyokai - lit. meaning: boundary  
Yoshiwara no Gendai - lit. meaning: modern-time Yoshiwara (a red light district in Edo era of Japan)  
Yuukaku - region in Japan where brothels are situated  
Mikadzuki - lit. meaning: crescent moon  
Sudare - screens or blinds made of bamboo  
Kiseru - smoking pipe  
Tabako-bon - tobacco tray  
Koto - traditional Japanese stringed instrument  
Kizami - shredded tobacco  
Shoji - door consisting translucent paper over wooden frame  
Iriguchi - entrance  
Haori - traditional Japanese kimono-like jacket, worn over a kosode  
Kosode - basic Japanese robe  
Okyaku-sama - customer  
Furisode apprentice - a young girl in apprenticeship to be a courtesan  
Shamisen - three-stringed Japanese traditional musical instrument  
Bonbori - Japanese paper lamp  
Oira no nee-san or Oiran - courtesan  
Kanzashi - hairpin  
Chichi-ue - similar meaning to otou-san (father), but with a higher level of respect_


End file.
